Pancakes and Fanfic World
by hollybridgetpeppermint
Summary: These are actually email messages from me and two of my cousins to each other...full of good old randomness and include a little Harry Potter...by the way, when we email each other we call it fanfic world
1. Chapter 1: Pancakes and Pocky

**First of all, there are lots of spelling and grammar mistakes, but the only reason I'm not changing them is because they are part of the funniness and randomness of this fic…**

**Second, yes I KNOW it's script style, but I like it that way…besides, that's the way we wrote it and it would ruin it to change it, as you'll see if you read it.**

**Disclaimer: Yay! I actually remembered the disclaimer this time! WAHOO! Anywho…no I don't own Arty—**

**Arty: Stop calling me Arty!**

**Me: ignores …or any of the other characters, anything like that…I also don't own "Cooking With Artemis and Holly"…what I do own is the MANGA MANGA and SHOUJO SHOUJO part of things…gasp! I ACTUALLY own something! YAAAAAAAAYY! plays Hallelujah chorus and dances around in triumph**

**P.S. All names of real people have been changed…**

From: COUSIN1

Sent: Tue 1/17/2006 4:46 PM

To: HOLLYBRIDGETPEPPERMINT

Subject: hi

hi HOLLYBRIDGETPEPPERMINT

i made pancakes for dinner tonight for the first time... and i ruined them!

well it happened like this: i made the pancakes and dad had just come home when

we started eating COUSIN2 spat out her bite and said, "they taste like pretzles!"

(sorry i don't know how to spell very well) and so dad got up and said, "how

mutch baking powder did you add?" and he showed me the baking powder. and i felt

myself turning red and said, "that isn't what i put in" and it turned out that i

hadn't read the intructions the right way and i had added baking soda insted.

sigh oh well... now for my good news. i have a loose tooth! (seems kinda

silly compared to the bad news huh? not that thats not silly rolls eyes at

least to DAD it's funny)

TTYL

COUSIN1

p.s. i'm reading the cronicals of narnia and i think that they are my new

favorite books!

From: HOLLYBRIDGETPEPPERMINT  
To: COUSIN1  
Sent: Tue, 17 Jan 2006 18:53:54 -0800  
Subject: RE: hi

yay, yay, and YAY! go narnia! pancakes with baking soda...hmm...i think i

wCOUSIN1 taste one...grin yum!

**From:** COUSIN1  
**Sent:** Wed 1/18/2006 2:18 PM  
**To:** HOLLYBRIDGETPEPPERMINT  
**Subject:** Re: hi

yeah... rolls eyes they were REALY good. in fact they were so good with baking soda that dad said

they wern't good for us. :(

sighoh well. TTYL

COUSIN1

From: HOLLYBRIDGETPEPPERMINT

To: COUSIN1

Subject: Re: hi

yeah...oh well...

artemis: you know, i think even _I _could do better than that.

me: ah, be quiet! you don't know the first thing about cooking!

artemis: prove it!

me: okay...let me tell you a little story, arty...ahem...

**reads "Cooking With Artemis and Holly" out loud**

_(A/N: Hello all you lovely readers out there! Search for "Cooking With Artemis and Holly" and I think you will get it…(I hope so) Anywho, this is NOT my fanfic. I just really liked it…three cheers for Ani May Queen!)_

me: ha! told you artemis!

artemis: i remember that...shakes head for a while there we really though Juliet HAD snapped...

me: that was funny though...

artemis: come to think of it...i'm kind of hungry...do you think...?

me: gasps in amazement, then begins laughing hysterically

artemis: thoughtfully turns to me hey, where's that neverending purse of yours? (_A/N: A standing joke among my friends…I hardly ever clean my purse out, so anything you want is almost guaranteed to be in there…)_

me: trying HARD not to laugh, and failing miserably umm...here...but...you can't be serious...

artemis: if juliet can do it, so can i...grabs my purse, fishes in it and pulls out pinata and lawn mower

me: ...

artemis: now let's see, how did she do it?

me: still trying not to laugh she ran over the lawn mower with the pinata...i mean she ran over the pinata with the lawn mower...

artemis: thanks. runs over pinata with lawn mower

AUNT: from other room WHAT'S THAT NOISE?

all: simultaneously nothing!

holly: comes in hey guys, i-- stops at sight of lawn mower and squashed pinata What are you DOING?

foaly: pokes his head in i know! he's doing what juliet did that time when you two did the cooking show together! remember?

holly: oh right! so what are you gonna eat?

artemis: i don't know...surprisingly enough, pizza sounds good, but caviar is my usual line of eating...

juliet: runs past here, let me help you with that... begins chanting MANGA MANGA MANGA MANGA MANGA...

FRIEND: what is it with all the japanese stuff?

me: shrugs and watches in amazement

juliet: MANGA MANGA...MENU!

menu falls out of thin air and hits artemis on the head

artemis: ow! um...thanks i guess...rubs his head, mutters that hurt...

juliet: brightly you're welcome! runs off again

artemis: looking at menu hmm, that looks good...but so does that...and that...and...holly, come over here and help me decide what to eat...

me, FRIEND, COUSIN1, and COUSIN2: laugh hysterically at artemis' choice of person to help him decide

AUNT: I HEAR LAUGHING! DO YOU HAVE FRIENDS OVER OR SOMETHING?

COUSIN1: pulls herself together no!

AUNT: WELL WHATEVER IT IS KEEP IT DOWN!

COUSIN1: okay!

artemis: head still bent over the menu how about that?

holly: ooh...okay! that does sound good!

artemis: puts menu down okay...let's see...

me: now you light candles and put them around the pinata and chant...POCKY POCKY POCKY...begins walking around pinata chanting. artemis follows, putting lighted candles everywhere soon COUSIN1 and COUSIN2 and FRIEND join in, then foaly and holly

root: comes in what are you doing?

everyone: SSSSHHHHH! continues chanting

root: watches puzzled for a minute, then shrugs and joins in

COUSIN3 and COUSIN4: come into room and watch

suddenly everyone stops chanting. dead silence for a minute

artemis: SHRIMP SPAGHETTI PIZZA WITH ANCHOVIES!

everyone else except holly: EEEWWWWWW!

ingredients rain down as before

COUSIN3 and COUSIN4: COOL!

artemis: sees ingredients oh crud, you have to cook it? i thought maybe if we chanted long enough it would already be done!

holly: oh well! come on, let's make it!

artemis and holly start picking up ingredients

me: come on, let's do it again! that was fun, and i'm hungry!

everyone else except artemis, holly, COUSIN3 and COUSIN4: okay!

all except the four mentioned above begin walking and chanting again. after a while COUSIN3 and COUSIN4 decide it looks fun and start doing the same thing

me: POCKY POCKY POCKY...ICE CREAM!

ice cream ingredients come down. milk is not in a container and splatters all over artemis, but he doesn't notice, he's too busy trying to figure out how to put the pizza together

me: having got what i wanted, i subside and begin picking up ice cream ingredients

COUSIN1: POCKY POCKY POCKY...FRUIT SALAD!

me: laughing hysterically YUMMY YUMMY! singing while laughing YUMMY YUMMY FRUIT SALAD... (_A/N: Yes that was from the wiggles, my brothers watch it and I think hers do too, so yup)_

meanwhile, fruits rain down

COUSIN1: oh darn, i have to slice them myself...oh well...

everyone else chants, then asks for ingredients for a different food. soon there are ingredients falling all over the room

me: yum that was good! but i'm still hungry! joins back in the chant

COUSIN1: me too! joins in with me

UNCLE and AUNT together: from other room WHAT'S ALL THIS ABOUT POCKY AND MANGA?

all except UNCLE and AUNT: NOTHING!

everyone begins chanting or eating again

COUSIN2: BROWNIES!

COUSIN4: CHOCOLATE MILK!

COUSIN3: JUST PLAIN CHOCOLATE!

harry: appearing suddenly through the door IT'S UMBRIDGE! RUN!

a pair of legs and a squat woman with a face like a toad's fall down (_A/N: Pair of legs for running…get it? Sorry, I was in a strange mood)_

umbridge: lands with a bump what am i doing here?

ron and hermione: coming through the door too OH NO!

ron: what's she doing here?

hermione: sees what's going on CENTAUR!

umbridge: nervously what did you sa--

firenze falls from the ceiling um...trying to stay dignified hello...

umbridge: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH! runs out screaming

harry: good work hermione!

ron: phew!

all the potter people look at everyone else, still chanting _(A/N: That's their new nickname…Potter people, Potter people, Potter people…yay!)_

hermione: strange, i've never read about this kind of magic before...

harry: excuse me...what are you doing?

me: sees harry harry? HARRY POTTER?

swarm of random fangirls runs past HARRY POTTER, WHERE, WHERE!

me: sighs idiots, all of them

FRIEND: look who's talking!

me: what do you mean? not harry! just...certain other people...blushes furiously

FRIEND: coughchokeARTEMISchokechokecough

me: oh be quiet!

artemis: looks over do you need something?

me: frantically NO! i mean, no. thanks though...

harry: looks as if we're all insane right...uh, we'd better be going now...come on hermione...ron, we're going now...ron? RON?

ron has found the chanting and figured out what happens

ron: hey harry! this is FUN! come try it! pulls harry into the chant, hermione joins too

ron: PUMPKIN PASTIES!

hermione: BOUILABAISSE!

harry: BERTIE BOTT'S EVERY FLAVOR BEANS!

all these items fall from the ceiling

harry: that is pretty cool!

meanwhile, foaly has seen firenze and they are talking

AUNT: WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON IN THERE?

all: NOTHING!

foaly is still talking with firenze

all: POCKY POCKY POCKY...

butler: comes in, stops in amazement um...what are you all doing?

me: observe. POCKY POCKY...oh wait a minute...butler, are you hungry?

butler: a little, why?

me: what do you want to eat?

butler: uh...maybe...um...pasta?

me: okay...POCKY POCKY POCKY...

artemis: just don't order it from that mafia place...

mr. fowl: runs past frantically MAFIA? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!

me: shakes head he's hopeless...oh well...POCKY POCKY...PASTA!

butler: what...is interrupted by noodles falling down on his head. they are already cooked and some stick, giving him long blond hair

butler: um...

me: laughs hysterically and points at butler IT'S ARNO BLUNT!

butler: NOW WAIT JUST A MINUTE...

me: still laughing

blunt falls from the ceiling

blunt: what am i doing here? hey, wait a minute, i know that face...gasps it's b-butler! but--but i c-c-confessed! i d-did! really!

butler: it's okay, blunt. i'm just here to tell you you did a good job confessing. you can go back now.

FRIEND: yeah um...how do we send them back?

butler: uh...JULIET!

juliet: appears in door what?

butler: how do we send them back?

juliet: just chant SHOUJO and say its name again...why? hey wait a minute! that's the guy who shot you! i'll take care of him for you! goes after blunt, who screams and runs away. they run around the room for a bit

FRIEND: shakes her head that japanese stuff again...

butler: juliet! STOP, JULIET!

juliet: doesn't stop

holly: stops chanting here, let me..._mesmerizes_ juliet JULIET, STOP CHASING BLUNT.

juliet: stops, looks at holly obediently

holly: LISTEN TO YOUR BROTHER AND DO WHATEVER HE SAYS FOR THE NEXT TWO MINUTES.

juliet: nods, looks at butler

butler: juliet. you can't kill or hurt blunt. the people at the jail will wonder what happened when they see him. we have to send him back.

juliet: yes sir. salutes

FRIEND: oooohkaaaay...

juliet: SHOUJO SHOUJO SHOUJO SHOUJO SHOUJO...

everyone helps, even foaly and firenze

everyone: SHOUJO SHOUJO SHOUJO SHOUJO...ARNO BLUNT!

blunt vanishes

everyone: phew!

suddenly mafia fall off the ceiling

me: um...when did we say--

artemis: DON'T SAY IT!

me: sorry...oh yeah! turns to him accusingly YOU said it!

artemis: yes i know...but i think it was my father who set it off...

FRIEND: but that was ages ago, why is he here now?

mafia dude: i don't know, but i do know i'll kill you if you don't give me money!

me: uh-oh...

juliet: holly, i wish you wouldn't _mesmerize _me. now then...sometimes the food gods have late reaction times. now everyone help me...SHOUJO SHOUJO SHOUJO...

everyone: SHOUJO SHOUJO...

mafia dude: waving gun threateningly what are you doing?

everyone: SHOUJO SHOUJO SHOUJO SHOUJO...MAFIA DUDE!

mafia dude: i'm not a dude! disappears

everyone: phew!

trelawney: appears in door YOU'RE ALL GOING TO DIE! I HAVE SEEN IT!

everyone: WHATEVER!

me: starts to mimic trelawney from movie welcome my children...in this room you shall explore the noble art of divination...in this room you shall discover if you possess the sight! bangs against a convenient table

trelawney: doesn't appear to realize what i'm doing and is now chanting with everyone else

me: continues to do imitation


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: (see chapter 1) WAIT! I REMEMBERED IT AGAIN! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYY! I'm so proud of myself!**

**(P.S. WARNING: SPOILER FOR INKHEART AND INKSPELL; IF YOU DON'T WANT TO READ IT, START AT THE BOLDED, UNDERLINED, AND ITALICIZED WORDS BELOW…)**

From: COUSIN1

Sent: Thu 1/5/2006 1:48 PM

To: HOLLYBRIDGETPEPPERMINT

Subject:

Hi HOLLYBRIDGETPEPPERMINT!

I looked at the guy thats going to play Artamis that you sent me! I think he's

great for the part!

By the way have you ever read the book Inkheart? Its a really good book! You

know how I told you that I'm making a book called The Haunted House? Well I

still am but I'm also making another book! I still don't know what the title is

going to be but I think that this book is going be even better then The Haunted

House.

From: HOLLYBRIDGETPEPPERMINT

To: COUSIN1

Sent: Thu, 5 Jan 2006 16:00:26 -0800

Subject: RE:

i read inkheart and inkspell and they're both AWESOME! in fact i have

inkheart on my mp3 player!

yeah about the guy who plays arty he is awesome for the part...still haven't

thought of the lady's name who plays arty's mum though (i thought i'd think of

it at 11:30 pm when i couldn't email but no, i havent thought of it at all! but

she is the best for the part!

that's cool about the book. what's it about? if you can't tell me thats ok,

but if you can that would be great :)

From: COUSIN1

Sent: Sat 1/7/2006 11:54 AM

To: HOLLYBRIDGETPEPPERMINT

Subject: Re:

yeah they are great books! i think i like inkheart better then inkspell though.

i just can't believe that dustfinger dies! (poor farid!) yeah about my book. its

about this girl named mindy readray icecicle and mindy had allways been called

by her middle name and of course eveyone at her school makes fun of her except

her best friend teresa. one day at school (she is only nine) she reads her

teachers mind! but even she doesn't believe in her powers... untill her mother

says that she really does have the power to read minds and that when she turns

fourteen she will be a super hero and will have to save the world! and if thats

not enough to make her head pop she also finds out that her best friend teresa

also was born into a super family! well what do you think? thats all i have so

far.

anyway TTYL

COUSIN1

From: HOLLYBRIDGETPEPPERMINT

To: COUSIN1

Sent: Sat, 7 Jan 2006 12:29:14 -0800

Subject: RE:

woooooooooowww... head spinning

poor dustfinger! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH! goes on a rampage

after whoever tried to kill Farid and so got Dustfinger killed (i forgot who

did it cause it's been a while since i read it)

From: COUSIN1

Sent: Sat 1/7/2006 12:48 PM

To: HOLLYBRIDGETPEPPERMINT

Subject: Re:

it was basta who tried to kill farid. you know capricorns knife thrower! i

looked online and found out that the auther (cornilia funke) said in an intervew

that "inkspell has such a nasty ending that there has to be a third book." thats

exactly what she said! so i'm hoping that there's going to be a third book! uh

oh.. i'm suposed to be geting ready to go somewere so gatagobye!

COUSIN1

**_(START HERE IF YOU DON'T WANT SPOILERS)_**

From: HOLLYBRIDGETPEPPERMINT

To: COUSIN1

Subject: Re:

yeah i thought it was basta but i didn't know for sure and didn't want to look

like an idiot so yeah anywho YOU IDIOT BASTA! chases him furiously,

waving a neutrino in one hand and-- oh wait wrong book...oh well chases him

furiously, waving a neutrino in one hand and--

arty: i might remind you that neutrino is capitalized! and you are not

capitalizing anything now except for shouting! and HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD

YOU NOT TO CALL ME ARTY! i did not shout just then!

me: yes you did

arty: no i didn't! and don't call me arty!

me: yes you did arty!

arty: ergh!

me: as i was saying before i was so RUDELY INTERRUPTED...coughchokeARTYcoughchokecough...chases

him furiously, waving a neutrino in one hand and--

arty: besides, where would YOU get a neutrino? and CAPITALIZE MY NAME!

me: why? i'm not capitalizing mine.

arty: because! just because SOME PEOPLE prefer not to command respect by

having their names capitalized doesn't mean EVERYONE likes it that way!

me: too bad! now, let me finish what i was saying before i GO CRAZY!

silence

me: THANK you! now, then...chases basta furiously, waving a neutrino in one

hand and--

voice 1 from next room: PUT DOWN THAT CHAINSAW!

voice 2 from next room: I CAN'T! HEEEEELLLLLLPPPPPP!

buzz and dying scream from next room

me: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! i might as well finish the sentence with AND!

arty: but that would be bad grammar!

me: fine. i will try ONE MORE TIME, but if you or anyone else, even someone

who's dying, interrupts me, i will kill them!

arty: how can you kill someone who's already dead?

me: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH! be QUIET!

arty: fine.

me: rolls eyes gee whiz...you'd think i could get a little quiet around

here...

COUSIN1: no you wouldn't, after all this is the place where there is always some

form of chaos...

me: right, um, well anyway...i guess that's why i only come here when i feel

like chaos...

COUSIN1 and arty together: GET TO THE POINT ALREADY!

me: sheepishly right...anywho...chases basta furiously, waving a neutrino in

one hand and a leather jacket in the other...

COUSIN1: a LEATHER JACKET! is that ALL we get after all that fuss!

FRIEND: sarcastically a leather jacket? ooh, scary...

arty: hey, wait a minute, that's mine...

holly: laughing hysterically at arty's last comment and at the fact that i

keep calling him arty

From: COUSIN1

To: HOLLYBRIDGETPEPPERMINT

Subject: Re:

p.s today's dads b-day!

arty: 1. WILL YOU AND THAT HOLLYBRIDGETPEPPERMINT GIRL PLEASE STOP CALLING ME ARTY! and 2. you allways start a sentence with a capital letter!

me: well one this is MY letter to HOLLYBRIDGETPEPPERMINT and not yours and two who are you to talk about capitals when YOU didn't start YOUR sentence with a one? Three you don't start a sentence with 'and' i thought you of all people would know that!

artamis: IF YOU DON'T START CAPITALIZING MY NAME I WILL REACH THROUGH THIS COMPUTER AND GAG YOU WITH A PITCH FORK! AND DO KNOW THAT YOU DON'T START A SENTENCE WITH AN...

me: you did it again! laughs out loud till i'm crying

artamis: ergh...

me: anyway G2G (dads opening his presents!)

COUSIN1

From: COUSIN1

To: HOLLYBRIDGETPEPPERMINT

Subject: Fwd:

hi HOLLYBRIDGETPEPPERMINT! COUSIN2 sent this to me. i thought it was funny.

arty: YOU FORGOT... oh forget it!

-----Original Message-----  
From: COUSIN2  
To: COUSIN1  
Sent: Tue, 10 Jan 2006 17:26:09 -0500

Dear COUSIN1,

Arty:oh so YOU put in capitals

me:Well YOU didn't put in one when you started YOUR sentence

Arty:well umm

me:You did it again

Arty:ARRRGG!

me:ANYWAY! So.. hey! what's that?

Arty: don't look at that!

me:why not? what is it?

Arty: None of your buisness! COUSIN1 was trying to look at that earlyier

me:hoo!hoo!hoo! it's a note to Holly asking if she will go out with him!

Arty:AHHHHH!

me:Artemis and Holly sitting in a tree (runs into next room)

Arty:I'M GOING TO GET YOU!

me: K-I-S-S-I-N-G

Arty:AAACCCCCCKKKKKKKNDJVBSV!

me:oops got to go! bye!

COUSIN2

_(A LATER MESSAGE)_

From: COUSIN1

To: HOLLYBRIDGETPEPPERMINT

Subject: Fwd: xx

COUSIN2 sent this to me.

-----Original Message-----  
From: COUSIN2  
To: COUSIN1  
Sent: Wed, 11 Jan 2006 21:09:16 -0500  
Subject: xx

dear COUSIN1,

artimas :i'm not even going to bother.

me:well..you just DID! and you forgot to capitalize!

artimas: i can't hear yooouu lalala!

me: you did it again

artimas :urrrrgggg

me :ANYWAY where was I? oh yeah.. dear COUSIN1,

foally:hey! whats going on?

me:I'm TRYING to write to COUSIN1 but ARTIMAS keeps bothering me!

artimas :i am not!

me :you did it AGAI-

artimas:I DON'T CARE!

me: bravo! you FINALLY did it!

foally:do what?

me:never mind

artimas:aren't you writing to COUSIN1?

me: YES! Okay, hey! whats THAT?

artimas :NONE OF YOUR BUISNESS!

me: (gasp!) it's flowers and chocolates to..HOLLY!

artimas:AUHGHD!#$&()+"? !

me:OUUCHH! stop hitting me artimas! got to go bye!

_(A/N: THAT WASN'T SWEARING, IT WAS SURPRISE)_


	3. Chapter 3: Annoying Arty

From: COUSIN1

Sent: Tue 2/14/2006 2:51 PM

To: COUSIN2; HOLLYBRIDGETPEPPERMINT

Subject: hi!

dear...

arty: Oh I give up!

me: give up what?

arty: 1. I'm going to give up telling you that you ALLWAYS start a sentence

with a CAPITAL!

2. I'm going to give up telling you not to call me ARTY!

me: well thats good! because i'm not going to listen to you anyway! now can i

get back to writing my letter?

arty: ARGH! I take it back! DO NOT CALL ME ARTY AND START YOUR SENTENCE WITH A

CAPITAL!

me: well it doesn't matter weather you tell me to do all that stuff or not

BECAUSE I'M NOT GOING TO LISTEN TO YOU BECAUSE I DON'T CARE!

arty: AAARRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH!

foely: walks into the room to find me annoying artemis hi! are you annoying

artemis? can i join in?

me: wispering yeah you can join in foely! just poke arty in the back and say

lollipop over and over again!

foely: wispering also great that will REALLY annoy wispers even softer

smiling arty!

arty: Hey what are two talking abou... foely walks up to him and starts

poking him and saying LOLLIPOP over and over again

arty: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!

holly: walks into the room to see what all the noise is about and finds arty

running away fromfoely who is chasing him saying lollipop! lollpop! lollipop!

over and over again and me who ended up annoying arty by calling him arty over

and over again smiles why hello artemis is anything wrong?

arty: panting HHHEEELLLLPPPP!

holly: still smiling what doyou need help with arty?

me: thats it holly! keep it up! your REALLY annoying him!

juliet: walks into room to see what all the noise is about and finds arty

running away from foely who is chasing him saying lollipop! lollipop! lollipop!

over and over agian and me who ended up annoying arty by calling him arty over

and over again and holly annoying arty in her own special way smiles

hey anna! are you annoying artemis? how can i help?

me: comes over to juliet and wispers: sure you can help us annoy arty! just

keep telling him that your going to fix him his least favorite dinner tonight!

juliet: okay!

root: walks into room to see what all the noise is about and finds arty running

away from foely who is chasing him and saying lollipop! lollipop!lollipop! over

and over again and me who ended up annoying arty by calling him arty over and

over again and holly annoying arty in her own special way and juliet who is

telling him that shes going to fix him his least favorite dinner tonight

frowns OKAY EVERBODY STOP!

everybody: stops

root: thats better now what is going on?

me: OH! i almost forgot! i'm writing a letter!

anyway bye!

COUSIN1


	4. Chapter 4: The Camera

**Disclaimer: Once again, I don't own Artemis, Holly, or any of the other characters. I also don't own what my cousin said in this e-mail, or in any of her other e-mails in previous chapters, which I forgot to mention in previous chapters…sorry about that…**

**Anywho, on to the chapter! BANZAI!**

From: COUSIN1

To: HOLLYBRIDGETPEPPERMINT

hi HOLLYBRIDGETPEPPERMINT!

how r u doing?

arty: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

me: rolls eyes anyway. now... um... arty where was i?

arty: Who cares?

me: angrily i do!

arty: well then why don't you try to remember? I am not going to tell you where you were unless you

promis to use proper grammer, spell EVERYTHING right, and above all... STOP CALLING ME ARTY!

me... I mean _Me_: Oh fine. I'll stop calling you arty and i'll um... _I'll _stop use proper grammer and I'll spell things right.

art... oops! i mean Artemis: Good! Now you were saying?

Me: Oh yeah! Anyway bye!

Artemis: Thats it? THATS IT? Your not going to tell her how you feel or anything like that?

me: yes i am. i feel fine. and i don't care if i misspell anything because you didn't help much anyway.

arty: RRRRRRRRRR!

me: smiles and... cut!

arty: YOU MEAN YOU RECORDED THIS?

me: yes! screen go's black

**A/N: Hope you liked it. Review and get a virtual treat, ABSOLUTELY FREE OF CHARGE! Hehe…**

**Right, seeya next chapter!**


	5. Chapter 5: What Kind of Letter Was That

**Disclaimer: Hi nice to see you lovely fanfic readers again! Wait this is a disclaimer not an author's note…um…right, I don't own AF, any of the characters, etc.**

**On to the chapter now! BANZAI!**

dear HOLLYBRIDGETPEPPERMINT,

sorry i haven't written in awile. how r things going 4 u? guess what mom and dad did 4 my b-day? they planned a trip 4 us 2 stay in a cabin! i even got 2 pick the cabin. how was your b-day? have u gotten the letter that i sent u? if u did then did u like the picture i drew 4 u? what was the best thing u got 4 your b-day? the best thing i got was... um... well i guess it was the trip 2 the cabin. yes that's it. have u ever heard of the book of mormon sleuth? i got the book 4 my b-day (well i really got the 2nd and the 4th because something happened so i'm really reading the 2nd book but i plan 2 get the 1st as soon as i can.) um... i don't think i have any other new news so i guess i'll see... um... i mean i'll _write _2 u soon :)

COUSIN1

arty: Ugh! What kind of letter was that? I mean you used 4 and 2 and u instead of doing it the proper way like so: for, two, too, to, you. You see what I mean? You need to do it the right way right now!

AND DO NOT CALL ME ARTY!

me: whatever. walks away

arty: just stand there, sighs, and walks away too.

**A/N: Sorry short chapter…anywho I'll try to update more soon…**

**Again, review and get a virtual treat! Please?**

**Seeya!**


	6. Chapter 6: Holly's Turn

**Disclaimer: Well! I AM getting good at remembering the disclaimer! Anywho…I don't own Arty, Holly, the books, or the e-mail message.**

**BANZAI!**

dear HOLLYBRIDGETPEPPERMINT,

arty: COULD YOU _PLEASE, _JUST ONCE, USE CAPITAL LETTERS!

me: no.

arty: WHY NOT!

me: arty your not going to win this one. you can't always get what you want.

arty: Yes I can!

me (trying to keep my voice calm, but failing terribly): no. you can't. look. you've one a lot of "battles" in the adventures you've been on but you just need to face it! this is one battle you are _not_ going to win!

arty (also trying to stay calm, at least he's_ trying _to): What is wrong with capital letters?

me: nothing! i just like to take a brake from using them once in awile.

arty (not even trying to keep his voice calm now): IF YOU DO NOT START USING CAPITAL LETTERS THEN I WILL... I will... um...

me: will what? shout your head off? fine! i'll bet that the only person that could beat you in a shouting compitition is beet root!

root: I HEARD THAT! DON'T THINK I DIDN'T HEAR THAT!

holly: (walks into room to see what all the noise is) what's going on here? (sees arty standing there trying to think of some way to get me back for not using capitals, me standing there smirking at arty, and root who has turned red in the face and is frowning at me.) uh... um... maybe i should come back later. (starts walking out of the room)

me: wait holly!

holly: what?

me: could you take care of arty for me. he's being a pest. again.

holly: sure, okay! (turns to face arty) hi _arty!_

arty: STOP CALLING ME ARTY!

holly: okay COUSIN1. go on and do whatever it was that you were doing. i have everything well in hand here (smirks at arty, who yells: AAAAAAHHHHHH! and runs away)

me: okay HOLLYBRIDGETPEPPERMINT. now. what was it that i was going to tell you? oh yeah! we had a REALLY big storm today. it was raining and even big chunks of hail was falling. all of the schools had to end early. and we had to go into the hall where it's "safe". at least, it's safer then some places!

COUSIN1

**A/N: Review PLEASE!**

**Oh and thanks to 1st Female LEPrecon, By Grace Alone, and Ani May Queen for reviews!**


	7. Chapter 7: Girly? Part 1

**Hi everyone! I'm back! Sorry it took so long, my cousin and I mostly stopped emailing with Arty in there for a while, so our emails were almost normal (gasp!)…**

**Sooo…**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Arty, or Holly, or their feelings for each other…**

**Arty: HEY!**

**Holly: I don't have FEELINGS for him!**

**Me: I suggest you read the below.**

**Holly: (reads) Uh…that was a fluke.**

**Me: Riiiight…anywho…**

**------------------------------**

_**THIS WAS PRECEDED BY A QUIZ ON HOW GIRLY YOU ARE. READ SUBJECT LINE.**_

From: COUSIN1  
Sent: Sunday, August 27, 2006 4:50 PM  
To: ME  
Subject: Re: re: I am 45 girly--i'm a failure! AAAAHHH! (just kidding :D)

you are not a failure! (reads the part "just kidding") oh. well um... see ya! oh wait. i won't see ya... well TTYL then!

arty: THAT WAS NO LETTER! YOU DIDN'T USE CAPITOLS!  
UM IS NOT A WORD, AND TTYL! I mean, really.

me: whatever.

arty: no, not 'whatever', theres something else too.

me: well then, what is it?

arty: YOU ARE MAKING A BOOK...

me: fanfic.

arty: i don't care what it's called! you are NOT making a cursed book about me!

me: nonononono! it's not a cursed book about you! it's about you getting cursed in a book, uh... FANFIC! oh, and by the way, you are REALLY sounding like root.

root: THAT'S COMANDER ROOT TO YOU!

me: well, as i was saying... you are starting to sound like root so, COOL IT!

arty: all right. i will stop sounding so much like comander root. but i will not stop telling you that your capitolizing is terrible.

me: well, i ain't gonna stop. so thar.

arty trying to keep cool: it is NOT hesatates, then says, very fast ain't,gonna,orthar. it's i'm, not, going to, there.

me: YAY!

arty: what?

me: you said AIN'T, GONNA, AND THAR! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

arty: argh!

----------------------------------

From: ME  
Date: 2006/08/28 Mon PM 02:41:27 EDT  
To: COUSIN1  
Subject: Re: re: I am 45 girly--i'm a failure! AAAAHHH! (just kidding :D)

WAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!

arty: stop laughing at me!

me: no! wahaha!

arty: grrr...

me: oh, by the way is it ok if i put this on pancakes and fanfic world? people have been asking for more...

_- My web site  
http/ - My fanfiction profile  
- Web site of an awesome Irish singer  
"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read."  
--Groucho Marx _

"Stay back, human. You don't know what you're dealing with."  
--Captain Holly Short (Artemis Fowl, page 74)

---------------------------------------------------------

**From**: COUSIN1  
**Sent**: Tuesday, August 29, 2006 5:46 AM  
**To**: ME  
**Subject**: Re: re: I am 45 girly--i'm a failure! AAAAHHH! (just kidding :D)

sure!

-----------------------------------------------

**From:** ME  
**Sent: **Tuesday, August 29, 2006 10: 27 AM

yay thanks!

arty: i--don't call me arty!

me: uh-huh. sure. whatever.

arty: AAAAAAAAHHH! not the 'w' word!

me: the 'w' word?

holly: (comes in) whatever.

arty: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH! (covers ears and rolls on floor twitching)

holly: (shakes head)

me: and how would you know?

holly: uhhh...(blushes)

arty: HOLLY! SAVE ME! SAVE ME FROM THE EVIL...EVIL...

me: i love being evil...(smirks)

arty: HEY! THAT'S MY JOB! (punches me)

me: ow! (punches back)

holly: don't mess with him! (punches me)

me: owwww...

holly: are you ok artemis?

arty: i'm fine...

holly: (hugs) don't worry, she's just another mean fangirl. but she'll never get you, because you're MINE! ALL MIIIIIIINNNNEEEEE! (laughs maniacally)

arty: ...

me: AHA!

holly: (stops laughing and blushes) oops.

me: SHE'S ADMITTED! (dances around singing the hallelujah chorus)

arty: did you...erm...mean that holly?

holly: (shifty eyes) maaaayyybeee...why?

arty: because...because...i...um...ditto.

holly: what?

me: YESSSS!

arty and holly: oh BE QUIET!

me: uhhhh...gottagobye! (dashes away)

arty and holly: (look at each other and run after me)

aelish: (coming in) did i miss something?

_- My web site  
http/ - My fanfiction profile  
- Web site of an awesome Irish singer  
"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read."  
--Groucho Marx _

"Stay back, human. You don't know what you're dealing with."  
--Captain Holly Short (Artemis Fowl, page 74)

----------------------------------------------------------------

**A/N: So anywho, click the pretty blue button to your left and review…please? I know it's randumb (a new word I invented! Like it? Random and dumb…) but…well…yeah.**

**Anywho yup**

**BANZAI!**

**hollybridgetpeppermint**

**P.S. For those of you who read Now or Never…don't kill me! I've got writer's block!**


	8. Chapter 8: Girly? Part 2

**Hi, everyone! Back again, with part 2 of 'Girly?' (grin)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Arty, Holly, etc. However, I 'm happy to say that I do, in fact, own Fanfic World (at least in part)! YAY! (celebrates)**

**---------------------------------------------**

**From**: COUSIN1  
**Sent**: Tuesday, August 29, 2006 2:27 PM  
**To**: HOLLYBRIDGETPEPPERMINT, FRIEND1, FRIEND2  
**Subject**: Fwd: arty

this is something my sister COUSIN2 sent me. she likes grins ARTY too!

arty: DO-NOT-CALL-ME-ARTY!

me: whatever.

arty: ugh!

me: "ugh" isn't a word!

arty: i don't care!

holly: YOU HAVE A GIRLS NAME! YOU HAVE A GIRLS NAME!

arty: what, may i ask, does that have anything to do with anything that we were just descusing?

holly: nothing. i just like to say it!

arty: IT WAS MY FATHER'S NAME!

holly: who cares? artemis was a greek god-ESS! WHAHAHAHAHAHA!

arty: whatever!

holly & me: gasp! you said whatever! are you feeling okay!

arty: turns red uh...

holly & me: YOU SAID "UH"!

holly: okay. he is NOT well! i can fix that! punches him there. that should put him in his right mind.

arty: OUCH! what was that for!

holly: smiles inocently what was what for?

arty: rolls eyes sighs never mind.

me: hehehehehehehe!

_**Forward:**_

From: COUSIN2  
Date: 2006/08/29 Tue PM 05:05:04 EDT  
To: COUSIN1  
Subject: arty

dear computer diary , umm..thing.  
arty: don't say umm!  
me: HEY! what are you doing in here! OUT! (points nutrino)  
arty: hey! where may I ask did you get that!  
me: borrowed it from holly.  
arty: what did you say to make her give it to you!  
me: what else? i told her i was going to use it to make you sing the lolipop song. OUT!  
arty: but...  
me: hey! on SECOND thought , start singing.  
arty: what!  
me: start singing the lolipop song .  
arty: never!  
me: don't make me shoot you! start singing.(points nutrino again)  
arty: butler! I need you!  
me: i told him you said he could have a day off. start singing.  
arty: ARRRGGHHHH! o-ok. i-if I HAV-VE t-to. no! I can't!  
me: (points nutrino)  
arty: ok! ok! (sighs) lol-i p-p-pop...(gulps) lol-i-i ...p-p-p-p-op... o..h l-o-li loli-i lol-i  
foally: (runs into room) got it!  
arty: GOT WHAT?  
me: yes! now we can send it to everyone! (runs to computer)  
arty: SEND WHAT!  
me: this! we got you on tape!  
arty: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!  
me: uh oh.. bye diary! (computer turns off)

-----------------------------------------------

**From: **HOLLYBRIDGETPEPPERMINT  
**Date:  
****To:** COUSIN1  
**Subject: **re: Fwd: arty

that was hysterical! tell COUSIN2 that from me too, and also tell her happy b-day, k:D

arty: (coming in) i can't believe it...

holly: what?

arty: (shifty eyes) nothing...

holly: WHAT?

arty: NOTHING...

holly: tell me or i'll shoot you! (brandishes gun)

arty: fine. see...um...well, that quiz said 'for boys too'...

holly: (with HUGE grin) i sense something REALLY good here!

arty: and so i took it, and...erm...i'mfortyninepercentgirly.

holly: WHAT? WAHAHAHAAA! (laughs hysterically)

arty: (blushes)

me: O.o...

--------------------------------------

**A/N: WAHAHAHAHAHAAA! Poor Arty…**

**Review please! (grin) Virtual treats! (holds treat in front of eyes, swings back and forth. Eyes follow treat…) That's right, there's a good reader…**


	9. Chapter 9: Chaos and Crazy People

**Disclaimer: Don't own. Don't have time.**

**COUSIN1 HAD JUST SENT ME AN IDEA FOR AN UPCOMING FIC…**

From: HOLLYBRIDGETPEPPERMINT  
Date: 2006/08/26 Sat PM 02:02:07 EDT  
To: COUSIN1  
Subject: re: I'VE GOT IT!  
  
  
YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAAAAYYY! GREAT IDEA IT'S PERFECT! THANKS! YAYAYAYAYYAY!  
  
bye:D  
  
- My web site  
http/ - My fanfiction profile  
- Web site of an awesome Irish singer  
"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read."  
--Groucho Marx  
  
"Stay back, human. You don't know what you're dealing with."  
--Captain Holly Short (Artemis Fowl, page 74)

From: Sent: Wednesday, August 30, 2006 5:18 PM  
To: Subject: Re: re: I'VE GOT IT!  
  
yeah. it's not perfact but it'll do, unless you decide to do something else.  
  
arty: you are NOT making a fanfic about ne getting cursed!  
  
me: you're right! i'm not! but _HOLLYBRIDGETPEPPERMINT_ is! WHAHAHAHA!  
  
arty: NNNNNNOOOOOOO!  
  
holly: i'm going to enjoy this!  
  
arty: ...  
  
holly: aren't you going to say something? like NO! or something?  
  
arty: i've already learned the hard way that if i say something like that, that you only do it more.  
  
holly: ARGH! your smart, mud boy.  
  
will: WHERE IS THAT PIRATE! I'LL KILL HIM! THEY CAPTURED MISS SWAN! uh... where am i?  
  
me and you: WILL! WILL TURNER!  
  
will: yes... NOW WHERE IS THAT PIRATE?  
  
holly: right here!  
  
will: ...  
  
holly: i said, "ARGH!"  
  
will: oh. well, where IS the pirate?  
  
you: HE WENT THAT WAY!  
  
will: thank you. (runs out of the room)  
  
me: yes. THANK you! he looked really angry! i wonder which pirate he was chasing?  
  
you: dunno...  
  
harry: RON, HERMIONE! I... what? what happened? where am i?  
  
ron: hey harry! hermione said, that lupin said, that serius said... where are we?  
  
harry: (trying not to laugh) hermione said, that lupin said, that serius said, "where are we?"  
  
ron: no...  
  
harry: (walks out)  
  
ron: hey! so. um... where are we? who are you?  
  
you and me: WE'RE SPIDERS! WHAHAHA!  
  
ron: right... (walks out, frowning)  
  
AUNT: (sees the mess we've made) i won't even ask. (walks out)

From: HOLLYBRIDGETPEPPERMINT

Date: 2006/08/30 Wed PM 10:54:34 EDT  
To: COUSIN1  
Subject: Re: re: I'VE GOT IT!  
  
  
that was hysterical! i laughed REALLY hard and it's a good thing no one was in the room with me cause they'd think i was insane for laughing at a computer screen!  
  
again, can i put it on pafw?  
  
- My web site  
http/ - My fanfiction profile  
- Web site of an awesome Irish singer  
"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read."  
--Groucho Marx  
  
"Stay back, human. You don't know what you're dealing with."  
--Captain Holly Short (Artemis Fowl, page 74)

From: COUSIN1

Time: Thursday, August 31, 2006 10:33 AM

To: HOLLYBRIDGETPEPPERMINT

Subject: Re: re: I'VE GOT IT!

well, thank you. i would have added more but i didn't have time.

arty: i won't even bother.

hermione: looks at my letter hey! you forgot capitols. did you know? also, you forgot to capitolize my name!

arty: thank you. not that she will listen but... hmm i don't know maybe she will...

elizabeth: will? where! HELP! runs away with a pirate chasing after her

will: WHERE DID HE GO?

me and you: THAT WAY! HE WENT THAT WAY!

will: THANK YOU! runs out

me: i wonder how long he's going to be chasing that pirate?

will: PIRATE! WHERE!

me: THERE IS NO PIRATE HERE!

jack sparrow: actually, that's not quite true. you see, there are two pirates in here. i am one, and will is one.

will: i am not a pirate! i'd never be one!

jack: and i supose you think your father was a...?

will: he was a... a... well, he wasn't a pirate!

jack: whatever you say.

will: now, WHERE DID THAT PIRATE GO!

jack: the fact still remauns that I'M a pirate. in case you forgot.

will: i know. i know. what i MEAN is, WHERE DID THE PIRATE WHO TOOK ELIZABETH!

you: he went that way somewhere!

will: all right nasty pirate! give elizabeth back!

arty: where's holly? she's usualy here.

holly: did somone call me?

arty: um... i did?

me: YOU SAID "UM" !

holly: oh. YOU called me mud boy?

arty: yes.

holly: in that case.. starts walkig out of the room

arty: wait holly!

holly: what mud boy!

mud boy, i mean artemis, i mean... WHATEVER HIS NAME IS: i.. well... it's just...

holly: do you have something to tell me or not?

arty: YES! it'snotthesamewithoutyouaround,socanyoustay?

holly: WHAT!

arty: i said, uh... "it's not the same without you around, so can you stay?"

holly: i... uh...

arty: aren't you going to say something?

holly: no. punches him there, now i can. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

arty: OUCH! that hurt holly! oh, and "HAHAHAHAHA!" isn't actually saying something.

holly: whatever mud boy. punches him again 

arty: WHAT WAS THAT FOR!

holly: nothing. i just like doing it!

arty: ...

me: and that all folks! toon in next time for "chaos and crazy people"!

you: that's what THIS epasode should be called!

**A/N: Please review. (grin)**


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